NEW BEGINNINGS...

I haven't been here in recent times.. partly, to dissuade the former visitors I had and partly to just move on....
I will be doing alot of that lately.. moving on from feeling sorry for myself.. moving on from being in a so called "rut" in my life. Moving on from friendships and relationships that bring you down or just cause me to be unhappy or to have too many mixed feelings...
I will be either a lawyer or a doctor... I sincerely wish I could be both :)
I am at work right now, mail merging myself to boredom... can you imagine mailmerging about 1000 names and addresses? I must be crazy.
This will be my last post here. I would rather have my blog be private, so I won't have to edit it for the public view or maybe, I won't keep one at all.. who knows :)

Peace and Love,
Debs

Venus Won!!!!

Yay!!!

I am so happy, I gave up going out with my mom, which I thoroughly enjoy sometimes... to watch this match. After watching her whip Sharapova's ass, I knew it. The match was so intense, and I felt myself sending Venus telepathic messages of strength and calmness. She is so human, so happy, so full of joy when she won, and an amazing athlete!! :) I felt a surge run through me when she started serving for the match. Back, from Championship point, Venus you are a star... Go girl!!!
Black, Beautiful, Young and Gifted!!!!

Oh yeah, and after what seemed like the interview from hell.. I got the JOB!!!! Yay!! I am so proud of myself, no strings attached :) I am a star too !!!

Peace and Love..

What a difference a day makes...

WEll today I have:

1. Put up 3 postings on my blog that I have largely ignored for 3 months.
2. Been Called for an interview for a summer job, I will hopefully get.
3. Realized that, you cannot separate physical from emotional.... and hence removed myself from the grasp of a true player...
4. Gained an appreciation for Spanish opera.
5. Awkened within myself the power, confidence and values that are truly Deborah Plummer. Watch me shine...

Peace and love.
Deborah.

Your intution

Trust it!
Don't let others influence what you know to be the truth.
Right now, I have realized that I am pretty smart, and people can try to play games with you in life, so unless something happens to prove you directly wrong, believe in yourself.
I like men who speak English as a second language, they tend to be more honest.... My really good Spanish friend recently asked me "Why are you so stupid about being lonely, you are most beautiful sight", Now isn't that poetry?
He also says, that if you are with someone, it must be because you love them, because they make you feel special, because he understands you, because there is chemsitry and you can totally trust him, and because he can offer you what nobody else can.....

Peace and Love.

Why can't we just connect?

It seems that humans are always seeking ways to communicate their deepest feelings, everyone has this part of them, that they keep "hidden" from someone else, for fear of rejection, criticism, or some other meaningless, abstract emotion, then we withdraw deeper within our shells... Allow each other to connect!
Whether we are going to make mistakes, whether its going to be requited or not...
I am a victim of the above, right now I am simply a shadow of the potential that I could be, because my thoughts and actions are controlled by someone who thinks they know whats best, or maybe someone who is just bein selfish and does not want me to fulfill those potentials. But, whenever I do escape.... the journey will be my own and I will not be held back....

Peace and Love...

Lazy summer days...

Its crazy that I can't keep a blog. I always forget the username and password stuff.. lol
Oh well..

Here's a couple of my poems to tell you my frame of mind right now..

I think my heart has been suspended

My passion, my existence, my reason for being has ended,

Four loves, with the last being the most powerful,

And I reminisce, in the isolation of this insatiable soul,

Has my allotment expired, have I discarded, the sole reason for being,

The purpose of life?

Humility, I have been taught, perhaps, I am not ready….

God, should know, I place my faith.

But the thread of sanity and significance runs thin..

And I seek from a source that apparently should come from within,

The power to press on, to live, to love…..

Thats basically, where my head space is....

I have dreams and goals like everyone else.. I'm doing my BA in Economics at the prestigious (hard as hell) Swarthmore College, heading to Med school afterwards.. Trying to get my lazy ass motivated to study for the MCATS. Hopefully, going to Spain in Jan for study abroad... I hope to abolish this spell of lethargy and self doubt I seem to be in right now, I'm sure I will, besides, I feel like there is something amazing in my destiny :)

Friends, I really have 2 best friends, one soulmate and lots of other people in my life I am getting to know. It seems like the older you get, the harder it is to connect with people, and when you do, you realize you don't really like them anyway!

I like passion, chivalry, romance, great chemistry, humility and good red wine...
Peace and Love
(my newest line from the "Brother Man" - a Jamaican classic)